By june-tree
For I do not want any one to read my book carelessly. I have suffered too much grief in setting down these memories. Six years have already passed since my friend went away from me, with his sheep. If I try to describe him here, it is to make sure that I shall not forget him. To forget a friend is sad. Not every one has had a friend. And if I forget him, I may become like the grownups who are no longer interested in anything but figures . . .
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, "The Little Prince"
I AM BEGGING YOU, like Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, TO NOT READ CARELESSLY.
The games by feyxuan and swanchime contain the memories of friends, the sustained candlelight of ghosts' souls, and the deepest unsparing love.
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IF YOU ARE RELATIVELY "NORMAL":
You can start anywhere but begin with the "starter pack".
You will likely be confused by some or all of these games and stories. That's ok. Read from the bottom of your heart. If you are confused, ask with humility and respectful curiosity.
These games are all personal and they are all true (or variations on truth), as long as you understand that "what is important is invisible to the eye". (BUT YOU HAVE A HEART! BE BRAVE AND USE IT!)
Please understand that these games exist to remember the dead and to purge mind-wringing obsessions.
The feyxuan games are more accessible and easier to read, but file many of the edges off the messy reality of the swanchime games. Look for repeated symbols and wordplay in the swanchime games, they will help you build meaning and connect the dots (like how the stars form constellations).
It is impossible to play any of them with some degree of understanding and not be changed. Nowhere have I ever seen a deeper consideration for humanity than the works of these crazy faggots (affectionate).
By consideration I don't mean praise or condemnation... just... understanding and concern and regard.
And when I say humanity, I'm not just talking about people. I'm also talking about those who are considered vermin and dehumanized like animals. People who were maybe once people but are now "no longer human" (like Osamu Dazai).
These games contain no delusions about what lies inside a human being, and the kinds of love and desperation inside an animal (and the children who have become such things).
“Animals don’t behave like men,” he said. “If they have to fight, they fight; and if they have to kill, they kill. But they don’t sit down and set their wits to work to devise ways of spoiling other creatures’ lives and hurting them. They have dignity and animality.”
- "watership down", Richard Adams
These games express such subtlety of emotion, respect for life, playfulness, jokes, deep hopes, violence, grief, disgust, shame, and love... And it's all mixed up together.
xianming, cynosure, san yan, yuui, yuzu... these are some of the craziest faggot bitches of all time (affectionate).
zhouyu, cormorant, hotaru, haru, minh ly... (s)he is... I wish I could have known him. We would not get along.
shiragiku... i have deep respect and a kind of a love for her, or what I know of her.
If you are willing to admit what is in your heart (it is a human heart. not a saint's nor a devil's), you will find connection and understanding and respect in these games.
You will need to understand first though that it is not about you. This is a window, not a mirror. The (candle)light inside is not yours.
You should also understand:
- it is wretched to become a weapon
- there are no perfect victims or perfect violencers
- there is a distance between the sorts of "traumas" that can be identified as such, and the sorts of extreme violence that permeate and define a life and render ordinary notions of "trauma" meaningless
- "good" people are horrible
Nothing in these games is "separate from" or "without" violence, but there is at the bottom of everything the deepest (ocean deep) love.
"VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ONLY TRUTH"
- swanchime
what else is there to say?
"but now I look at you. i look at you smile, and I understand a little that that icicle-ash rabbit never suggested, never had, never had it, that...
you have suffered immensely
(AND IT MAKES ME GUILTY FOR HATING YOU!)"
- cormorant in "When We Meet In Hell", swanchime
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IF YOU ARE NOT RELATIVELY "NORMAL":
you may find there is still sacred left.
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ABOUT THE DEVELOPERS
ob is a silly guy that lives in an egg. he no longer wishes to come out.
g. jack is also a silly guy, but I think some people don't know enough to appreciate his sense of humor. Very sincere except for when he's not (he's a bit timid (cautious, fearful) but not at all shy, just like the pokemon (hisuian) zorua!!). Extremely patient but considered by those who only sorta know him to be short tempered. Used to be an avid "fisherman". Excellent cook despite treating most aisles in the grocery store like decoration. Spends his time doting on his wife and acting as Cat Butler #1 to Astra. Definitely some kind of crazy bastard (what kind? only god can say). An ex-god. I think he's great (I married him).